The Threshold Project

Kara’s Story

“I know a woman whose mother died of breast cancer when she was seven years old.  In the year before her death, she recognized the opportunity to serve her daughter.  Over the course of that year, Kara’s mother studied child development, as she had no other children and knew little about older kids.  She then embarked on a project to create communication with her daughter.

In the course of her last year of life, she generated more than a dozen video tapes, one for each of Kara’s birthdays, in addition to special tapes for her mother’s day of death, as well as Kara’s graduation and wedding day.  They were decorated and placed in a chest and presented to Kara at her mother’s memorial.  Each year on her birthday, Kara’s father would set her down in front of a monitor, press a button, and leave Kara with her mother.

As Kara got older, she chose to share the messages with her family and friends, creating a community experience that radically altered their view of life and death.  Kara is closer to her mother than many of us and her life is informed by these experiences.  Immortality is at our fingertips.”

–Dr. Michael Fratkin

Jonathon and Natalia’s Story

“Natalia asked for assistance in speaking frankly with her friends.  She had been a core member of a group of people that have annually created a small festival and fundraiser with music, dancing, and community building.  The Threshold Project Director facilitated a conversation in front of about forty friends to discuss her experience of dying and living. At the time, Natalia hoped she had perhaps a year or more to live, however she died only weeks after the conversation. That conversation still serves as inspiration to her friends who were present that day.

A year later, Jonathan was having a discussion about life and the challenges he faces individually. He recalled the most poignant thing Natalia said during the discussion regarding dying. She talked about how her whole life she dedicated a lot of energy searching for things that were wrong in the world, things that needed to be stopped or fixed. She had been fighting against injustice for many years.

Facing her own mortality had given her new insight into this choice. She told the gathered community of friends, “If I had one thing to do differently, I would focus more attention and energy on the things that are going right in the world – the things that work.”

This practical wisdom spoken echoes in the community and has altered Jonathon’s approach to his world, his work, and his life, allowing him to find new ways of looking at choice-the fundamental operation of living. Where do we want to be putting our energy?”

Robin and Tom’s Story

“Robin had thought the cancer was gone and, inspired by love, she became pregnant again five years after surviving intensive and complex treatment for breast cancer.  She has two sons, eight-year-old twins one of which has cerebral palsy.  Meeting Tom a year earlier was a renewal of hope for her family, as the father of her boys was unavailable and uninvolved.  During her pregnancy, she developed a new breast lump and underwent a mastectomy.  In the last part of pregnancy, she began to have pain in her back and arm, which she put out of her attention.  She delivered a healthy boy, Hank, but her pain worsened.  The doctors suspected a kidney stone, but when the scan was done the results were horrifying.  Within hours of delivery, she and Tom were faced with the knowledge that her cancer had returned with a vengeance. She had developed metastasis in her spine threatening her spinal cord.  She had a fracture from a metastasis in her upper arm.  She had widespread involvement in her liver and lungs.  So extensive was the involvement, it was impossible to imagine that she could survive.

The Threshold Project Director sat down with Robin and Tom.  Tom cried and asked Robin to marry him and she accepted.  She had surgery scheduled in 48 hours to stabilize her spine and arm, with rapid sequence radiation, hormonal, and immunological therapies to follow in a desperate effort to extract a chance of limited survival.  Within 24 hours, the hospital chapel was filled beyond capacity with family from across the state.  Robin’s uncle performed the service, and Robin was wheeled down the aisle in a spectacular wedding dress with excellent control of her symptoms.  A trio played their favorite music.  Tom and her sons were in tuxedos.  The baby, Hank, was the one to symbolically give Robin away to the groom and to carry the ring. The new parents insightfully married Robin’s sons to Tom by having him place engraved dog tags around their necks.  What followed was an amazing reception with almost 100 people, a pink cake, a guest book, commemorative CD’s…the whole shebang! The hospital staff rallied to help Robin and Tom realize this wish and the impact on the hospital culture is enduring.

She made it through her first month, is healing, and is committed that her time left is as rich as her wedding day.  She wants the help of The Threshold Project to complete video documentation for her three sons, one of which, Hank, will have no memory of her.  When I spoke to her recently, she expressed that what characterizes this new life for her is gratitude.”